The root of failure⌗

There is no worse fate than endless stagnation, because happiness comes from the increase of something good. When you stagnate, when there is no feeling of progress, one ends up in depression. Are you making the changes that you want in your life? Where do you see yourself in 6 months? Are you taking the appropriate steps or are you shying away from them?

Lately, I’ve been stuck in situations that I don’t like, and changing them is the hard part.

In a bad relationship? I should’ve ended it instead of letting it inject itself. Or fix it.

In a bad health? I should fix it!

In a bad mood? Why? Can I fix it?

Oftentimes, the reaction to an adverse event is, well, a reaction. Imagine that you are inside the sewers and want to get to the streets through a ladder; but someone pushes you down as soon as you reach the top. What do you do when you get pushed down? Do you use brute force, or do you climb down and take the escalator (yeah; it’s super modern sewers).

My point is that naturally, you will react to events instead of responding to them. A response contains genius, and is thus hard to produce. But only a response will bring truly 10X results; a mere reaction’s success probabilities are only rooted in the force that you apply.

Another metaphor to think about this: to make more money, don’t invest more in a 2% annualized return fund. Instead, move your money in a 6% annualized return fund. Investing more involved expending more energy; and in most cases, this energy could be used to increase efficiency of the existing energy that you are using, without even increasing what you spend that much. And also: meta improvements lasts longer! You’ll never need to move your money out of your 6% fund unless you find a better strategy.

To sum this up: the root of failure is an inability to apply meta changes. Heck, for true success, you even need to apply meta changes to meta changes.

Moving out⌗

Now that you get some background on my reasoning, you will easily understand why I’m going to take the measures that I’ll describe below.

I’ve noticed that I cannot really get work done at home. I’m not sure why yet, but I’m starting to believe that I have a deep laziness tied to this particular place.

I’m also 20yo, and missing out on my youth. I feel this super deeply when I don’t see any friends for multiple weeks; when I don’t see girls and when I don’t go to the shows that I wish to go.

This has been a problem for long, and I’ve recognized it. But I never acknowledged it, and even less took action about it! (well, I kind of did by starting to intentionally seeking out social events, but that’s not really addressing the root issue).

The root issue is that I am not making the progress that a human of my age should be doing; that is:

  • gaining autonomy
  • having new experiences
  • constructing a personality
  • having romantic relationships
  • meeting new people
  • etc…

And the best way to fix this is:

  1. Have basic needs fulfilled such as having a place to stay at, healthy food and medication a) by getting sponsored by family b) by securing a consistent revenue stream
  2. Get closer to the party a) by getting a car b) by moving to a large city

In other words: ciao! I’m fucking moving out. I’ll get my apartment in Paris and I’m injecting fucking pig brain extracts to have the mental capacity to drive a car. In parallel, I’m building businesses and improving my freelance work.

All that sounds pretty amazing on paper, but I’m still pretty sad, in my room, alone for a few more months…

But just wait for me. I’m not giving up on life just yet because I’ve once lived true happiness; and I believe hard that I can reproduce it and even make it better.

And you? What’s holding you from your dreams? Are you truly making the hard changes that you need to become the person that you want to be, and live the life that will fulfill you? Or are you repressing all that in the back of your mind?

  • ap