Lately, I’ve been realizing that my life is kind of fucked up.

I mean, I’ve realized that already in the past… But now more than ever, I know how close to a terrible life I was.

Now, I have answers. I know that it’s likely a brain problem. I don’t know how to fix it yet, but I have tons of hopes (lately, peptides and great sleep and sports are on my watch list).

Krabby⌗

So yesterday I was doing my due diligence by reading one article from my article list and found out about the story of Krabby.

Krabby was a regular student taking various nootropics to improve his grades. One day, he had a ton of work to do, so to get into the mood, he took Cerebrolysin; it’s a peptide that’s extracted from pork enzyme or something.

In the next few days, his life would descend into hell. He quickly started to get pressure in the head and getting confused. In the next few days, he would see a psychiatrist who would diagnose him with anxiety and depression (lol). After that, he started to forget everything; he would do a bike ride in the afternoon and forget it by dinner. Before, when he was looking at an object, a few memories about it would come up, but now, his mind would go blank.

He asked for help on Longecity, a longevity forum, but no-one could do anything.

The catch is that he took it by sniffing it instead of using a classical intramuscular injection. The leading theory is that the nasal route of administration bypasses the blood-brain barrier way too much for Cerebrolysin and that either:

  1. Cerebrolysin reactivated a virus/bacteria that was already in the brain but asleep
  2. Cerebrolysin carried pork virus and absolutely obliterated his brain.

There were also talks about demyelination and prion’s disease.

We might never know. This case has happened to other people, though maybe not to the same extent.

The rumour is that he committed suicide.

I feel euphoric⌗

But for some reason, I feel extremely euphoric.

I took Duloxetine at 4pm, then went to bed at 1am. I looked up a graph about the concentration of Duloxetine in the blood over time after administration and made a guess. I think it made me sleep like a baby.

I must have had 1 hour of REM sleep until my 5:30am alarm got off. (edit: my FitBit says that I had an unusually high amount of deep sleep. And I also had stable REM sleep despite being very early to bed; Duloxetine rocks despite withdrawal harder than heroin).

Then, I’ve just been blessed with pleasure. The contact of my sheets against my body was so good.

As the Armodafinil was reaching it’s peak, I was feeling euphoric feelings. Thinking about how I want to tell people I like them, how I want to hang out with other people, and how life is great. I’m in a terrible place but the future is bright. I have money to buy weird peptides, a good-enough mind to do research, artificial memory with Obsidian, and good future of prospects for money thanks to my business partner.

Life is so fucking cool. I wish I could feel like it on the regular. I would just infect people with my positivity.

When I was writing the section about Krabby, my euphoria toned down, but now, it’s coming back up. On other days, I would feel exactly nothing. I’m wondering if having this mind flexibility is common among healthy people. That would explain why they say “to do positive things” or “stay positive”. Hell yeah. Works great! (if you didn’t fry your brains).

Information spreading⌗

I’ve shared some posts of this blog with a few close friends. I don’t believe that they read my other post, but if you do: thanks for your interest; you’re welcome to do a guest blog post anytime you want. You would go down in history.

Beeminded⌗

And fuck. I’ve staked 4 dollars on me ending my morning routine by 8:30, but it’s 8:05. I’m unsure if I’ll make it.

But at least, I made a cool blog post :sunglasses: